


I Used To Love You Until You Tried To Kill Me

by retrinazambrano



Series: OQ Movie Week [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Outlaw Queen Movie Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2020-04-06 15:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19065874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retrinazambrano/pseuds/retrinazambrano
Summary: Regina and her family are a bit... odd.





	I Used To Love You Until You Tried To Kill Me

**Author's Note:**

> For OQ Movie week, loosely, loosely based on Arsenic and Old Lace. So loosely in fact, it might as well not be.
> 
> Title taken from the Nerina Pallot song of the same name. Originally posted on twitter.

Robin had found true love with Regina. She had her quirks, that little murderous look in her eye whenever he or anyone dared to cross her, but overall, she was his soulmate. When he proposed... there was no hesitation on her side, just a simple ‘yes’, and the preparations started almost straightaway. One would say she became something of a Bridezilla, but he just let her get on with it. Putting together the guest list, he realised that there was no-one to represent the Mills side of the family. When Robin quizzed her, she bit her lip and told him that she didn’t get along with them, that there was no point. He let that rest, and the rest of the preparations and the wedding itself went without a hitch. 

When it came to honeymoons, Regina suggested Storybrooke, Maine. An odd choice, he thought; most people would choose a beach resort like the Caribbean or the Seychelles, but no, she chooses a small unknown town in the middle of nowhere. 

Then he realises why.

On the way, she admits that she comes from Storybrooke (she’d always maintained NY before that...those red flags should really be flying now) and that she has spoken to her family...and they’re going to stay with them. He stares; it’s hardly gonna be much of a honeymoon with her family around every corner, but it’s her family, he reasons. She may not get many other chances to mend bridges previously burnt. 

He acquiesces, the rest of the journey quiet, tense, almost. 

•••

He has to admit that Regina’s family are a little... odd. Her father’s no longer around, but her mother is obsessed with playing cards (notably the queen of hearts; ‘off with her head!’ a favourite phrase to be shouted at random intervals) and her sister, Zelena, obsessed with the colour green, pores over apparent spells and so-called “magical” ingredients. She also seems to have some sort of...unjustified hatred towards Regina, which the brunette explains away as pure sibling rivalry. Both also have a taste for the macabre; the pictures adorning the walls of the house depicting death and all its friends, though, if he may say so, in a very tasteful way. 

Fine. Her family, even the house, with all its spiralling staircases, is quirky. Very Regina. 

The first night is bizarre to say the least. The two are staying in the top room of the building, complete with rickety floorboards that squeak and crack with even the gentlest of pads. It’s not that though; it’s the laughter he notices through the walls. It’s quiet, yet maniacal, almost on the verge of tears, where you wouldn’t be sure whether it’s glee or misery you’re hearing. Each sounds so different; several male voices, one female... neither of which belonging to either mother or sister. Regina writes it off as some lucid dream, but Robin is pretty damn sure that that wasn’t the case. 

•••

The laughter grows louder the longer they’re there, to the point that Robin awakens in a cold sweat to strange shrieks on floors below. He doesn’t know how Regina sleeps through, but he doesn’t wake her. Instead, he stands and very carefully navigates the less noisy panels to the door, slipping out and down the uppermost spiral staircase. The laughter grows louder still, as he approaches a room on the level below, one which he can see lights on from the crack between the door and the floor. Carefully, oh so very carefully, he places his hand against the door, then his ear. He can hear it now, the noises denying him a restful night’s sleep. Unfortunately for Robin, he rests his head a little too firmly against the door. So much so, the impact pushes the door open and he lands rather ungracefully on the floor.

He looks up, and gods, does he wish he hadn’t. He’s met with the hostile gazes of both Regina’s mother and sister and the sight of three corpses. He’s almost sick on sight. 

Daniel. Hades. Leopold. The names of the three men brought to their demise by this deathly duo.

Hades lied to Zelena. He had to go. She tells Robin (now tied up and pinned to a stake by some impossible magic bind) how she got her revenge; a stake to the heart. And he can certainly see the impact. 

Leopold broke Cora’s heart by marrying a meddling bitch who couldn’t keep her mouth shut. A poisoned apple, she tells him. The stuff of fairytales. 

Daniel, they say, was the most innocent of all. His only crime was to not be good enough for Regina. They both tut, feigning sadness for the poor boy. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong person.

And now it was his turn. 

Robin shouts for Regina, but it’s Cora’s gentle summoning of her name that has her opening the door, dressed in white, eyes wide and smirk evil. She looks at her mother and nods, then Robin notices the crossbow in her hand.

“Your turn,” Cora hums authoritatively, “dear.”


End file.
